


don't touch our girl

by khrysallis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5032882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khrysallis/pseuds/khrysallis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun and Jongin declare war on the man who dares touch their precious daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't touch our girl

 

In all the seventeen years he has nurtured her, Sehun has never seen his daughter in anything more revealing than a short-sleeved t-shirt and jeans, despite the fact that he and Jongin had stocked her wardrobe up with things which are more feminine, so it's understandable when Sehun freezes and does a double-take when Luhan walks past him with her hair down and in a _dress_ one afternoon. Sehun immediately drops everything he's doing for dinner and walks backwards, out of the kitchen and into the hall, with his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Luhan, sweetheart," he calls out when she doesn't seem to have noticed him, pulling on a pair of heels he's never even known she owns. He needs to talk to Jongin about that credit card in her possession, which is under Jongin's name. "Where are you going? We're expecting you for dinner."  
  
The bright smile Luhan flashes at him when she turns around makes Sehun's heart melt, but the panic alarm again sounds in his mind when he realises something else different about his lovely daughter. Is that _makeup_ on her face? "I have a date, Dad, but I'll be back in time for dinner. Promise. Wouldn't want to miss your home-cooked food for the world." She sing-songs and follows it up with a giggle.  
  
"Date?" Sehun echoes blankly, because _date_ in his mind means his daughter with another man doing _things_ –  
  
"Yes, date, Dad." Luhan affirms, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink at her own words. "Mind out of the gutter!" She moves in to peck him lightly on the cheek, and leaves before he can say anything else about this supposed _date_.  
  
When Sehun recovers from his initial shock, he immediately hits the first number on his speed dial, right foot tapping impatiently against the wooden flooring as he waits for the other person to pick up. It seems like an eternity before the much-awaited click comes, and Sehun breathes right into the receiver. "Agent Kai, we have a Code Red in our hands."  
  
"Kai–?" Jongin sounds momentarily confused by the use of the name, before he laughs aloud. "Sehun, what are you on? We promised not to use our codenames anymore."  
  
Sehun isn't in the mood to joke around with Jongin at the moment though, and he makes that fact known with a sterner voice. "Like I said, Agent Kai. _Code Red_." More silence. Sehun sighs loudly, completely exasperated. "Our daughter has a date."  
  
There's another short bout of silence, before Jongin's voice comes back as serious as Sehun's. "I'll be right home."  
  
  
\--  
  
  
Never in his life did Sehun expect that he'll be seeing a complete set of surveillance system with his own eyes ever again, but apparently, there's a first for everything. He hadn't even known that Jongin had taken the liberty to create his very own secret hideout beneath their basement, and that definitely says something. For one, Sehun is getting incredibly out of touch with his past life, to the point that he didn't even notice.  
  
This isn't the time to question Jongin about the extra space in their house, though.  
  
"Who do you reckon it is?" Jongin asks as he stares at the computer screen, his fingers poised over the keyboard and all ready to type, but he doesn't know who exactly they supposed to search for.  
  
"I don't know," Sehun says, fingers tracing the sleek black frame of the monitor. These are state of the art devices; it isn't difficult for Sehun to recognise them, but Jongin's still the better one between them in terms of reconnaissance. He did, after all, handle most of the information aspect of their missions. But Sehun does wonder to what extent is Jongin still allowed into the National Register, where he had pulled out many profiles of their targets in the past.  
  
"Does any name ring a bell? Someone she talks about often?" Jongin prompts, and Sehun finds himself tapping the side of his head as he tries to jog back his memories. He is, after all, the one who spends more time with Luhan at home, seeing that he has a greater degree of freedom where his job is concerned.  
  
Lots of squeezing was needed before a name comes up from the jumble of names in Sehun's mind, and he immediately takes over the keyboard from Jongin's hands, rapidly keying in the name _WU YIFAN_ into the search bar.  
  
"Wow, our daughter has pretty good taste," Jongin breathes the moment their search pings back with a positive result, the photo of a decent-looking young man smiling back at them appearing on the screen, along with the schools he's attended. Sehun, on the other hand, draws back slightly disappointed.  
  
"There's not nearly _enough_ information we can retrieve from this," he purses his lips in thought, before his eyes light up with the birth of an idea. "You know what? This calls for an intelligence mission."  
  
He knows that Jongin is in this with him when he turns to meet Jongin's wide grin.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
It's how they find themselves with their faces hidden behind a pair of shades, and dressed in the most non-eye catching outfit they owned, acting as casually as they can in the mall a week later, tailing after Luhan who's on her – _apparently_ – second date with this Wu Yifan person. Granted, their adopted daughter is of Chinese ethnicity, but it still strikes them odd that she should be going out (Sehun absolutely refuses to admit that his daughter is _dating_ ) with someone who is ethnically similar to her, given that they're in Korea and all.  
  
"He's entirely too tall for her," Sehun huffs, speaking out the corner of his mouth as he pretends to admire a watch on display when Luhan suddenly turns behind. It's only by supremely good, trained reflexes that Jongin manages to swerve around just in time to lean against the display window on his side, effectively hiding both their faces from view.  
  
It's not until the guy starts pulling Luhan in the direction of a plushie store that Jongin and Sehun begin moving again.  
  
"He's only slightly taller than you, Hun." Jongin remarks idly, but his eyes are wide open, mentally glaring daggers at the way Yifan is holding their precious daughter's chaste wrist. Somehow his glares work, and Yifan lets his hand fall almost immediately.  
  
" _Both of us_ , you mean." Sehun says, his tone reflecting one of indignation. "That makes intimidating him into bending to our rules extremely difficult, and that's a violation to the number one rule in the handbook of 'How to be a Good Father to Your Baby Daughter'. We're at a grave disadvantage!"  
  
Jongin pauses in his steps to look at Sehun oddly. "The _what_ handbook?" He wonders aloud. "What sort of stuff have you been reading?"  
  
"Something which _you_ should read too, if you care about Luhan as much as you claim to." Sehun remarks, practically side eyeing Jongin for never having heard of it.  
  
Jongin only rolls his eyes at Sehun, thankful that he's spent years living with Sehun's weirdness. This doesn't even faze him anymore. But they both straighten in alarm when they lose sight of Luhan, and immediately made a pact to go their separate ways in search for her, then to keep in contact once they've located their daughter.  
  
This is serious business.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
Five dates in, and both Sehun and Jongin begin to panic. They have taught Luhan well over the years, telling her to drop anything she doesn't like on the count of three. It's something she's been living by faithfully in the past sixteen years, before this wretch by the name of Wu Yifan walked in and destroyed everything they have painstakingly instilled in her.  
  
Five dates is definitely more than three – and it doesn't look like she's stopping at that, either.  
  
Sehun and Jongin are getting more anxious by the day, because it means that their daughter is getting serious about this guy, and they _have_ to put a stop to it before he snatches their precious little baby from right below their noses.  
  
Thankfully, Sehun has just the right solution to their woes.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
"Does this guy not have any flaws for us to pick on?" Jongin frowns at the mess of papers scattered on the table before them – their precious data, as he calls it, all centering on the subject named Wu Yifan. With the amount of information they have collected on him, Jongin can possibly make a book out of it, but that would be creepy so he doesn't continue on that thought.  
  
Sehun looks equally as baffled as his partner is. Wu Yifan. The school's basketball team captain. One of the top ten scorers in his year. Possibly a future lawyer. One of the most popular guys in Luhan's school who doesn't actually use his looks to his advantage and pick up anyone who's in a skirt. He is practically the sort of person Sehun and Jongin have both dreamt for their daughter, but they still refuse to believe it.  
  
"There must be something we're missing, or he's just that good in hiding. He can't be all that perfect." Sehun says with vindication.  
  
"And?" Jongin asks. "What do you propose we do next?"  
  
The corner of Sehun's lips curl into a smirk. "What we did best when we were secret agents, of course."  
  
  
\--  
  
  
Sehun watches the panel of screens keenly as their target walks into view. Jongin is out there in the field, his possessive arm around Luhan's shoulder as he greets Yifan personally at the door. Just the night before, Jongin and Sehun had come to a consensus that Jongin should be the one to do it, considering how agitated Sehun is with the idea that Luhan's _seeing someone_ (no, not dating). Sehun was afraid that he'd body slam Yifan to the ground the moment they shook hands, a sentiment which Jongin apparently echoed.  
  
It's a safer bet, one that will prevent Luhan from hating Sehun for the rest of her life. Yifan is, after all, the first boy Luhan is bringing home, and as reluctant as they are to admit it, Jongin and Sehun can see how much this means to her. It's too bad Jongin and Sehun are already programmed to act on instinct, to take down anyone they deem as a threat.  
  
He starts to get agitated when Jongin seems to spend a little too much time talking to Yifan at the door, because this isn't what they have agreed upon. Jongin's supposed to greet Yifan, show that he will not accept any form of nonsense from the boy, then leave Luhan and Yifan alone.  
  
Ten full minutes later, Jongin finally takes off from the screen of the camera at the front door, and Sehun's eyes traces his figure which stealthily disappears down the door leading to the basement, even though he should really be watching Luhan and Yifan instead. Sehun can't really help it; even after so many years, his eyes still gravitate automatically towards Jongin, despite having been in love with him for a greater part of his life now.  
  
He scoots over when Jongin emerges through the door of their secret room, allowing his partner some space on the sofa. "Took you long enough. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten our pact," Sehun grumbles a little, but is soon pacified when Jongin wraps an arm around his shoulder.  
  
"I was digging for more information, and warning him off," Jongin tells Sehun, pressing a kiss to his temple to soothe Sehun's agitation completely. Sehun hates that he's so completely weak where Jongin's concerned, but at least, he thinks, it's a good thing they weren't enemies. Sehun probably wouldn't have stood a chance against Jongin if they had to go head-to-head.  
  
But they soon begin to wonder, five hours of watching the many screens later, if it's a good thing that this Wu Yifan hasn't made a sleazy move on their daughter yet. It's almost _boring_ , in fact, when they've done nothing but play Monopoly out in the hall, laughing good-naturedly whenever someone lands on the other's hotels.  
  
Sehun's mind is almost numbed by boredom by the time Yifan helps Luhan to pack up their game, and is thankful when Jongin takes it as his cue to appear in the living room again. His joints are almost too stiff when he tries to move.  
  
"Next time," Jongin says placatingly, when he returns to Sehun's largely displeased face. "Next time, we'll get him."  
  
Sehun nods, determined.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
They up their game a notch the next time Yifan asks Luhan out. Sehun, who's known to be extremely adept and quick in bugging places, is given the task to do it to Yifan's car. The moment Yifan steps into their house to await Luhan as she dresses up, Sehun gets out of the house as quietly as he can with the bunch of keys Jongin has swiped from an unsuspecting Yifan's back pocket when he shows Yifan his way to the living room, even though Yifan has already been there once.  
  
Sehun makes quick work of Yifan's car, fixing a pinhole camera to the central airconditioner and a microphone at the back of the driver's seat under five minutes.  
  
"Hello? Do you copy?" He calls out tentatively, and when the receiver in his ear crackles affirmatively, Sehun slips out of the car and locks it again after making sure it's in the condition he had found it in. He offers an easy grin to Yifan when he returns to the house, making small talk with him as though he has done nothing sinister to the insides of Yifan's car.  
  
And when Luhan walks out of her room with a particularly breathtaking sundress, thoroughly distracting Yifan who is literally staring at her with his jaw hanging wide open, Sehun grabs the opportunity to slip his keys back into his back pocket. (Not after staring at Luhan with his own jaw unhinged, though, because hell, Sehun had never realised how truly feminine Luhan can look, after seeing her in different ensembles of jeans and shorts and t-shirts for practically her entire life.)  
  
"Mission: start," Jongin comes and hooks an arm around Sehun's shoulder once Luhan and Yifan are out the door, and Sehun grins impishly at his partner.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
No, Luhan's car isn't spared from being bugged, either.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
"This isn't working." Sehun groans exasperatedly, about three weeks since they have started listening in on the conversations Yifan has in his car. His face is plastered against the tabletop, headphones covering more of his neck rather than his ears, and he feels utterly defeated.  
  
When they had made the decision to plant a microphone in Yifan's car, Jongin and Sehun were counting on it to pick up on Yifan's bad boy side – they are still of the opinion that such good-looking guys won't stick to one and only _one_ relationship. But so far, all they've heard are good-natured conversations between Luhan and Yifan – not a single lewd remark was uttered, not the slightest hint that Luhan was uncomfortable with his words or actions. Even his conversations with other people who take a ride in his car are _saintly_ (as Jongin had labelled it before Sehun thwacked him in the arm for being a traitor), involving discussions of volunteering work and the sort.  
  
"Maybe he _is_ nice after all." Jongin says as he eyes Sehun hesitantly, watching for any possible signs that Sehun might turn on him for saying that. "I know Luhan has questionable taste sometimes, but maybe we should trust her just this once."  
  
Sehun, almost defeated, scrunches his nose at Jongin from where his head is plastered against the table. "I still think he's a very good actor. He looks as good as we do, why is he not using his looks to pick up other girls as he pleases?"  
  
Jongin sends Sehun a withering look, his arms crossed before his chest. "Are you insinuating that I'm a playboy or something, because I might really punch you in the face and file for separation, Oh Sehun." Then, as an afterthought, "And then I will murder you in your sleep."  
  
Sehun doesn't seem affected by the threat – after all, he's already used to fighting beside Jongin for so long, dismantling bombs and assassinating people who are a threat to the nation's safety, and can probably anticipate his moves by now – and he just narrows his eyes in contempt. "Be my guest, Kim Jongin." He says flippantly, to which Jongin responds with his middle finger.  
  
Some things never do change, even if they've been cohabiting for years.  
  
It's only when a noise which sounds suspiciously like a moan crackles in their headphones does Jongin and Sehun straighten in attention. _Finally_ , the opportunity to catch Yifan red-handed has come. Jongin's fingers immediately fly into action, typing in codes and passkeys to access the tracking device which they have installed on Yifan's car some weeks ago.  
  
Jongin raises an eyebrow when the red dot on their map is shown incredibly close to their home, about a street away. Sehun has the exact same look when Jongin spares a glance at his partner. Surely Yifan isn't that bold to be feeling up another girl in the vicinity? And surely he didn't take Jongin's death threats on their first meeting as a joke?  
  
"Ah, _yes_ , Yifan, right there!" The words may have come out as a breathless moan, but it doesn't take long for the both of them to recognise its owner.  
  
"Jongin," Sehun is the first to regain his bearings from the rage which he's sure has taken over Jongin's being as well, "for the love of God, please tell me you still have a sniper rifle lying around because I am going to make sure his brain matter splatters across the windscreen."  
  
Jongin numbly points a finger towards a door tucked away in the far corner of the room. "There, but I have a better suggestion. Remember those bombs we used to make?"  
  
"Yeah," Sehun nods as he rises from his seat, fists balled by his sides as he heads towards the door. "Right now I just want to wring his neck, though."  
  
Jongin quickly follows after Sehun, the anger also radiating off him in successive waves, but remains quiet as they exit their home.  
  
No one touches their precious daughter without their consent and gets away with it _alive_.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
It isn't difficult for them to track down Yifan's car, from the sheer amount of times they've seen it pulled up at their doorstep in the past couple of weeks. At first, Jongin and Sehun debated if they should walk right up to the car and slam their hands on it, or if they should wait till Luhan's out of it before they do anything drastic, like murdering a certain Wu Yifan when he least expects it. Having been secret agents for at least a good ten years, they have every trick under the sun to make a death seem like an accident, and are already thinking of the best way to do it. But in the end, the thought of Luhan getting _defiled_ by this despicable creature has them marching forth without a care.  
  
Luhan and Yifan are huddled together in the backseat when Jongin and Sehun finally got near enough to the car, and Sehun, being the more short-tempered one between the two, immediately banged on the window for Yifan to get the fuck out and get the fuck off his daughter. Mercifully, Yifan is still highly aware of his surroundings, and he puts a great distance between himself and Luhan the moment he sees a red-faced Sehun glaring down at him from the outside. Luhan seems bewildered by both her fathers' appearances, too, and she quickly clambers out of the car.  
  
"Dad? Appa?" She asks in complete disbelief, though judging by the lack of surprise on Yifan's face when she'd addressed them separately, she must have told Yifan about the circumstances surrounding her family, and how she has two dads instead of the conventional parent pairing he knows of. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"You!" Jongin growls and slams Yifan up against the side of his car, ignoring the curious glances they're attracting at this very moment. "How dare you defile our daughter?"  
  
"Defile–?" Yifan splutters, at the same time that Luhan repeats the word in a scandalised manner.  
  
"Defile–? Appa, what are you talking about? He was just giving me a shoulder massage!"  
  
"Don't think we didn't hear you, young lady." Sehun jumps in Jongin's defense, turning on Luhan with the most displeased expression he can afford, in the face of Luhan's large, watery eyes. Meanwhile, he notes with satisfaction that Yifan is thoroughly intimidated by the strong grip Jongin has on the front of his shirt.  
  
"You _bugged_ our cars?" Luhan asks in utter disbelief, raising her voice. "Dad, Appa, who _said_ you could?"  
  
It's the only time Jongin allows his gaze to wander away from Yifan, if only to look at his daughter. "We were just looking out for you, young lady. You know how inexperienced you are."  
  
It merely makes Luhan more upset, though. "Appa!" she says pleadingly. "I know the boundaries that he shouldn't cross, and I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself!"  
  
"How?" Sehun challenges. "Have you ever gotten yourself into a situation where you might be overpowered at any given time?"  
  
Luhan flushes red. "No, but–"  
  
"See," Jongin and Sehun both chorus, narrowing their eyes at Luhan. Her cheeks are pink with anger and frustration, but she doesn't seem as though she's about to back down from the argument.  
  
"Dad, Appa, I'm _sixteen_. You should be allowing me to make my own decisions before you reprimand me for committing a mistake!" Luhan snaps.  
  
"What if you get yourself knocked up? Then what?" Sehun stands his ground. There is no way he's going to let his daughter ruin her own future from a heated moment of passion.  
  
" _You_ started sleeping around when you were my age!" Their daughter says again, and this successfully elicits an automatic reddening of both Sehun and Jongin's faces because _how the hell did she even find out?_  
  
They refuse to give in to her taunts, though, and Sehun steps a little closer to Luhan, feeling his authority as her father being threatened to no ends. "Young lady–"  
  
" _Dad_ –" She says at the same time, using the sort of upset voice which neither Sehun nor Jongin have any resistance against, and his resolve crumbles just a little. "–what am I supposed to do to prove that I'm not stupid like most girls my age?"  
  
"Until you can prove that you're capable of taking down anyone who dares take advantage of you." Jongin cuts in, ignoring the sharp look Sehun sends at him because this isn't what they have agreed upon. They're supposed to protect their precious girl, not shove her towards the metaphorical mouth of a tiger.  
  
Luhan seems dumbfounded for a moment, and Yifan grabs that opportunity to remind them of his presence. "Do it, Luhan. I volunteer."  
  
Luhan frowns at Yifan at that. "You have no idea what they're talking about, Yifan."  
  
"I know." Yifan insists otherwise. "You've been taught extensively in the arts of self-defence, haven't you?"  
  
It's only natural for Luhan to be surprised that Yifan knows that piece of information, though one look at Jongin's sheepish smile tells her who _exactly_ had divulged that bit of information. Of course. Jongin has always been the one who talks to Yifan the most, while Sehun is mostly busy throwing imaginary knives at Yifan whenever he's around.  
  
"There's a chance you might get seriously injured–"  
  
"If it's necessary, I don't care." Yifan interrupts her again. Luhan chews on her bottom lip, contemplating her options for a while, before she heaves a defeated sigh and approaches Yifan. It's only then that Jongin releases his hold on Yifan, and leaves a wide enough space for Luhan to do her thing.  
  
Luhan squeezes Yifan's hand gently when they meet in the middle, her eyes beseeching him to change his mind, but Yifan stands firm, commandeering her to do it instead. She is no match for him, obviously, and hangs her head, trying hard to avoid his gaze because it makes it all the more difficult for her to carry on with what she's about to do.  
  
"I hope you're not going to hate me for this, Yifan."  
  
It's all the warning he gets, before he finds his world tumbling upside down and going completely black.  
  
  
\--  
  
  
"I still don't understand why we should get that kid something." Sehun grumbles as they walk out of the elevator, the weight of the fruit basket in his arms fuelling his ever-growing annoyance.  
  
Jongin only smiles serenely at him. "Well," he says lightly, "we _are_ the ones who had indirectly put him in the hospital. It's only nice to visit."  
  
Sehun can't suppress the exasperated groan that escapes his lips, especially when he recalls how Luhan has been beating herself up over the incident at home. "It's _your_ fault for suggesting that she kicked his ass, Agent Kai."  
  
"I don't understand a single thing you're saying, Agent Oh." Jongin keeps a straight face, and effectively stops Sehun from saying anything else when he turns the knob to the private room and invites himself in.  
  
As expected, Luhan is there seated next to Yifan – as she has always been for the past two weeks – laughing at something he's said. She's holding his hand and pressing her lips against his fist, a scene which _still_ makes Sehun's blood boil (Jongin mostly just ignores it these days), and she jumps away when they make their presence known.  
  
"Sorry we took so long to visit. You know how stubborn Luhan's Dad is." Jongin jabs his thumb over his shoulder in Sehun's direction, acting as though Sehun can't hear him. He rightfully ignores the indignant squawk which erupts from Sehun's direction.  
  
Yifan, for all that Sehun and Jongin have done to him, actually grins back widely. "It's fine. I should be the one who needs to be sorry for my poor manners, and for being unable to properly greet you."  
  
Jongin eyes rake over Yifan's bedridden form, and thinks wryly that he doesn't mind – not when his right arm is in a cast and there's a weigh dangling from his leg. "I don't particularly mind. You've redeemed yourself by still being interested in Luhan after... well, _this_."  
  
There's a distinct reddening of Yifan's cheeks which he conceals behind a closed fist with a pathetic attempt at pretending to cough, and for a moment, Jongin wonders if he has a pain kink. He quickly erases that thought from his mind before he sees red and pounces on Yifan to wring his neck dry.  
  
"Dad, Appa," Luhan says then, smiling at them meaningfully. "Have you, by any chance, come to a decision about telling me _how_ exactly you learned to bug cars?"  
  
"Cars aren't the only things–" Sehun starts, only to be shoved in the stomach by an elbow when he nearly says too much. They're technically still not supposed to divulge their past as secret agents. A clause to protect their lives after retirement, or so they were told, even though Jongin and Sehun aren't firm believers of that shit. They can take perfect care of themselves if anyone attempts to assassinate them, anyway, considering their level of skills.  
  
"We will–" Jongin starts, and swallows convulsively when Luhan's eyes cut up to look at him, searching his for answers, "–excuse ourselves right now, if you don't mind."  
  
He doesn't even wait for Luhan and Yifan's replies, taking off immediately after he'd forced Sehun to leave the basket of fruits behind. Thankfully, Luhan doesn't chase after them, considering how she's probably more concerned about staying by Yifan's side than to pry answers out of her two dads.  
  
"You owe me for giving our daughter away like that." Sehun growls at Jongin as they disappear into the elevator, trying not to smile when Jongin wraps his arms around his waist and rests his chin on Sehun's shoulder.  
  
"You'll get your reward, alright." Jongin mumbles sleepily, nosing at Sehun's neck. "But it'll probably appease you more to know that I have threatened to do very nasty things to him if he ever dared make Luhan cry."  
  
Sehun turns a little to look at Jongin. "Like what?"  
  
"Remember our torture regimes? That."  
  
It's only then that Sehun cracks into a grin. "You're brilliant."   
---


End file.
